A family of my own
by angelwithamask
Summary: Adam is lonely and longs for his own family
1. A lonely heart

It was a cool early fall night, Adam Cartwright was asleep dreaming a wonderful but sad dream.

"_Push me higher, papa." said the little dark haired girl. Adam pushed the swing higher and laughed as the little girl giggled. _

"_Adam not too high!" a voice called from behind him. Adam turned around and looked at a beautiful woman; she had dark brown hair and green eyes. "I won't love, don't worry" he called to her. Adam thought himself lucky he had a beautiful daughter and a beautiful wife who was with child. He had everything he ever wanted, a family of his own._

Adam awoke with a start only to find the other side of the bed was empty. It was only a dream and that's what hurt him the most, he longed for the family that he saw in his dream.

It was still a few hours before dawn when Adam got out of bed; he changed into his black pants and black button up shirt. He lit a lamp and looked at himself in the mirror; he shaved and washed his face. He ran a comb through his hair, he always kept his hair looking neat unlike little Joe his youngest brother. He picked up his belt, a pair of socks and his favorite pair of boots. Adam blew out his lamp and silently made his way down stairs where he put on his belt, socks and boots. Adam grabbed his gun belt and his hat, and then he made his way out the door and headed to the barn. After about an hour working and completing the chores in the barn, dawn was approaching. Taking Sport out of his stall, Adam got him ready to ride. Adam lead Sport out of the barn and was about to mount him when he heard a voice call out to him, it was Hoss.

"You want to talk about it?" Hoss asked. Adam didn't know why but Hoss always knew when he was upset. Adam didn't answer him.

"It was that dream again, wasn't it?" Hoss knew of the dream because Adam had told him about it the first time he had it. Adam shook his head yes and mounted his horse.

"Well I know you want to go riding by yourself but I'm not going to let you this time." Hoss said as he walked to the barn. Adam didn't have the heart to tell Hoss otherwise. He knew Hoss was worried about him, so he let his younger brother come along.

A few minutes later the boys were off making their way to Adam's favorite spot on the Ponderosa.

" Hoss, I …."

"Yeah, what is it Adam."

"Thanks for coming with me. Hoss, I can't understand why I keep having this dream it torchers me so. I want the family of my own that I dream about. I want this loneliness I feel in my heart to go away."

Later that day, Adam and little Joe where out in the yard chopping wood getting ready for the winter which was only a few months away.

"Little Joe, you are chopping the wood to small it's going to burn to quickly!" Adam yelled.

Little Joe stop what he was doing and looked at his older brother. "Older brother I don't know what is wrong with you today. You have been fussing and yelling at me all day. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Adam replied.

"It doesn't sound like nothing older brother."

Adam grabbed little Joe by the shirt "I said nothing is wrong! Just leave me alone."

Adam let go of Joe, guilt washed over him. "I'm sorry little Joe. I had no right to yell at you and I'm very sorry."

Little Joe hugged his older brother "Its okay Adam, maybe you should go rest a bit you look tired."

"Thanks Joe, I think I will go a rest a bit." he hugged his younger brother back, and then he went into the house and up to his room.

Ben Cartwright saw what happened between Adam and little Joe. He was worried about Adam. His oldest son, he didn't seem himself, he wasn't sleeping well and not eating much. Later when Hop sing called for dinner Ben went to fetch Adam for supper, but Adam was sleeping so peaceful that he didn't have the heart to wake him. A few minutes later at the dinner table hop sing was complaining as usual about wasting food but he was worried.

"Mista Adam sick? He no eat, he no hardly eat anymore. He too thin."

"No Hopsing I don't think he is sick." Ben replied.

"Pa, I think I know what's wrong with him." Hoss spoke up. "You see pa, Adam is lonely."

"Lonely but he has all of us." Ben said.

"No Pa, he's lonely in here." Hoss said pointing to his heart.

Adam awoke with a start, the dream this time was just of the dark haired little girl. He dreamed he of her sitting all alone in the middle of the woods hurt and frighten. Not too far away from her was a wagon that was on fire, and no one but her was around. This dream confused Adam and scared him at the same time, to think she was all alone and frighten. No longer being able to sleep Adam put on his robe and went down stairs. He lite a lamp and poured himself a glass of brandy. As he sipped on his brandy his thoughts ran, and before he knew it, dawn had arrived.

Ben Cartwright woke up early that morning, got dressed and went down stairs where he saw his son sitting in a chair just watching the fire dance in the fire place.

"Adam, son are you okay? How long have you been up?"

"Most of the night, Pa." Adam replied.

"Son, I've been thinking. Why don't you take a few days off? Go and stay at the cabin on the south end of the Ponderosa for a few days. Just go and rest, maybe do some hunting and fishing."

"Pa, what about all the work that still needs to be done before winter hits?" Adam question his father.

"Your brothers can handle it for a few days, besides it has been weeks since you have taking some time off."

"Okay Pa, maybe a few days rest will do me some good. I can do some hunting too." Adam said giving a smile to his father.

"Why don't you get your stuff ready today and you can leave early tomorrow morning. Its going to take you about a day in a half to get there, especially taking a mule with supply."


	2. The Little Girl

The next morning Adam left for the cabin and a few days of rest. He was lucky the weather was in his favor. Adam traveled as far as he could before stopping to make camp. He barely slept but what little sleep he did get was full of dreams.

Once again he dreamed of the little girl except this time she was sick, frighten and alone in the woods. Adam next morning didn't know what to think, he was afraid for the little girl's life but he didn't know whether or not this child was real or just a dream. He packed up camp and headed for the cabin.

Adam final reached to cabin about noon, he unpacked the supplies the mule was carrying then bedded the mule down in the small barn. Next, Adam bedded down his own horse, Sport, then made sure there was enough fire wood to last him a few days. He was glad his father fixed up the cabin, when he first bought the land. The cabin had a bedroom, kitchen with a pump in it, a little sitting room with a fire place and a bath house attached to the kitchen. Adam fixed himself a small meal then spent the rest of the day reading a good book on the porch. Adam looked out and saw smoke coming from the woods, just on the other side of the Ponderosa boarder. Adam didn't think anything of the smoke, he knew people hunted in those woods all the time; he thought it was just a hunter making camp for the night. Before Adam went to bed he made up his mind the next morning he was going to go hunting.

Adam woke up early the next morning and prepared to go hunting. Later in the morning after not catching a thing Adam decided to see if the other hunter had any lucky. But as Adam approached the spot where he saw the smoke last night, he was met with devastation. It wasn't a camp of a hunter; it was a camp of a family. The wagon had been what caused the smoke for it was almost completely burnt. Not too far from the wagon was the bodies of a man and woman, they had been shot.

"Hello, is someone there?" he heard some noise but he didn't see anything.

He heard the noise again and then what surprised him the most was he heard someone crying. Leading Sport by the reigns, Adam made his way toward the direction of the noise.

A few yards away from the camp, curled up under a huge tree was a little girl. As Adam got closer the more the little girl cried.

"Please, don't be frighten, I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Adam and this is my horse Sport."

Little girl raised her head and looked at him; Adam's heart skipped a beat.


	3. Samantha

Little girl raised her head and looked at him; Adam's heart skipped a beat.

This was the little child he had been dreaming about. His heart called out to her, all he wanted to was hold her and tell her everything was going to alright.

"Bad man?" asked the little girl.

"No, sweetheart, I'm not a bad man." He started towards her but she coward back with fear. Adam stopped when she started to cry but her cries turn into a hard cough. Adam ran to her side bringing his canteen with him, he patted and rubbed her back until the cough passed.

He took the lid of his canteen and held it up to the little girl's mouth, "Here sweetheart, drink some water." The little girl gladly accepted the drink.

"I don't feel good." The little girl whispered, Adam felt her forehead she was burning up.

"I'm cold." Adam took off his jacket and wrapped her up in it.

Adam stood up and picked the little girl.

"Sweetheart, you are going to be safe now. I'm going to take you with me and help you to get better okay. Now sweetie, will you tell me was that man and woman your parents?"

She shook her head no, "That was my aunt and uncle, I have no parents. We were going to Virginia City, my aunt was going to be the new teacher there and my uncle was a writer."

"Okay sweetie, I hate for you to have to see this but we need to go back to the camp. I need to bury your aunt and uncle; you don't have to look, you can close your eyes."

Adam carried the child and lead Sport back to the camp. He walked to the far side of the camp farthest away from the bodies; he sat the little girl down and noticed her eyes where shut. He tied Sport to a bush and then untied the blanket on the back of the saddle.

"I am going to lay a blanket on the ground, sweetie, why don't you take a nap? I will wake you when I'm done and then we will go back to my cabin. Sweetheart what is your name?"

"Samantha."

"Samantha, what a beautiful name, okay, you just rest sweetie." Adam said picking her up and laying her down on the blanket. He made sure she was well wrapped up in his jacket before he went to bury the bodies.

An hour later, Adam was finished burying the bodies. He used some of the water in the canteen to clean up before waking Samantha.

"Samantha, sweetie, wake up." He nudged her softly, "You can open your eyes now."

She opened her eyes and reached out for him. He picked her up and she laid her head on his shoulder. Adam's heart filled with love for this child he now held in his arms.

Samantha started to coughed again. "Don't feel good."

"Okay, sweetheart, I going to put you on my horse then I am going to get on." Adam put her on his horse; the he bent down and picked up the blanket. After grabbing the blanket, he untied and mounted his horse. Adam wrapped the blanket around the child, and then started to head towards the cabin. Samantha leaned back and rested her head against Adam chest, and let the rhythm of the moving horse send her into a light slumber.

Back at the cabin, Adam, had gotten Samantha cleaned up and into bed. Her dress and her under garments were ruined, Adam throw them out and dressed her in one of his button up shirts. The shirt went to her feet and the arms were too long which caused Adam to have to roll the sleeves up. Now the little girl was resting peacefully in the bed while Adam made her some broth.

"Samantha, sweetheart, wake up, need you to drink some of this broth."

Samantha drank the broth he brought her and started to feel much better.

"Feeling better?" asked Adam while he felt her forehead she still had a slight fever.

Samantha shook her head yes, "Can I have something else to eat?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart." Adam made to leave but then a question hit him. "Samantha, how old are you?"

Samantha held up three figures. "My birthday is soon."

"O, and when is that?" He asked.

"November first."

"Well that's just around the corner. Now would you like something else to eat?"

Samantha nodded her head yes. Adam left the room and headed to the kitchen to make something to eat for the both of them. While he was in the kitchen another storm developed and the thunder shook the cabin.

"Adam!" Samantha yelled as she ran into the kitchen and grabbed hold of Adam's legs.

Adam bent down and took the frighten child in his arms, held her tight and rubbed her back. Samantha laid her head on Adam's shoulder and cried.

"It's ok, Sweetheart, I'm here nothing is going to harm while I'm around."


	4. Meet the Cartwrights

After the storm and their meal, Adam put little Samantha back into bed, then made himself a comfortable place to sleep in the sitting room. Early the next morning Adam awoke, to find little Samantha curled up next to him asleep. He got up and put her back to bed, then started packing it was going to be a long day of travel.

Later that day while they were traveling Samantha was having a hard time staying quiet.

"Where are we going?"

"To my home." Adam replied.

"But I thought the cabin was your home?"

"No but it is on the Ponderosa which is my families land." He relied. "Samantha."

She turned her head and looked up at him "Yes."

"You know for a child who is almost four you sure speak well. Who taught you to speak so well?"

"My aunt, ever since I can remember I lived with my aunt and uncle."

"Samantha, do you know where you lived before you came here?" Adam asked her.

"San Francisco." She simple replied. She got quiet and lay against Adam chest. Adam had thought that she had fallen asleep until she spoke up again.

"Adam?"

"Yes sweetheart."

"What's going to happen to me? I don't want to go to the orphanage." She cried.

Adam stopped his horse, he got off his horse and took the crying little girl into his arms. "Shhh, no one is going to send you to an orphanage, shhh, its ok. Its going to be ok sweetie." He said while rubbing her back and trying to calm her down. His heart went out to her she was scared and all alone.

They still had a several hours to ride before they got to the house and the sun was getting low in the sky. They had made good timing by leaving the mule behind at the cabin, when they get back home he was going to send one of the ranch hands after it. The night was going to be cool and Samantha was still wearing his button up shirt and his jacket. They needed to get back to the house where it was warm.

The child in his arms had stopped crying, "Samantha, we have to keep riding, it's going to be too cool tonight for you to be sleeping out here."

Samantha nodded her head and a few minutes later they were on their way.

Hours later back at the house, things were calm and peaceful, Ben was reading by the fire while Little Joe and Hoss were playing a game of checkers.

"Dagburnit, Little Joe, stop cheating." Hoss yelled at little Joe.

"I'm not cheating, you're cheating!" he yelled back.

"You are both cheating, and you boys know how I feel about cheating." Ben interrupted them.

They didn't say anything and just went on playing their game.

"It sure is a cool night, ain't it Pa?" Hoss asked.

"Yes son it sure is."

"Hey, Pa, how do you think Adam is doing?" Joe asked.

"I'm sure he is fine Little Joe. Now I think it's time we all go to bed it's getting late."

The boys and Ben started to head upstairs, when they heard a horse ride up in the yard.

"Who could that be?" They all went to the door and opened it only to find Adam outside holding a bundle in his arms.

Ben ran outside, "Adam, son, is something wrong? You are back early."

"I'll explain everything later Pa." Adam.

"Adam, what have you got there?" Little Joe asked.

"This is Samantha. Like I said I'll explain everything later. Right now we are cold and in need of a hot meal. Hoss, will you take care of Sport for me?" Adam said walking towards the house, Ben and Joe fallowed. Once inside he laid the little girl on the settee.

"Samantha, wake up." Adam shook the little girl softly and she woke up. She opened her eyes, saw two people she didn't know, and threw herself at Adam, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"It's okay, Samantha, this is my brother, Little Joe and my father, Ben."

In a very low whisper Samantha gave them a small hello.

HopSing came into the living room, "Mista Hoss, said Mista Adam here I make him some food." Hopsing then noticed the little girl in Adam's arms, "Hopsing see Mista Adam brought home a little girl I make her something too." Hopsing left the room and within minutes had a hot meal ready.

After they ate Adam took the little girl upstairs to the spare bedroom next to his and explained to her that his room was next door if she needed anything. He got her cleaned up and into a fresh clean shirt of his and in no time the little girl was fast asleep.

After putting the little girl to bed, Adam made his way down stairs and sat down in a chair next to the fire. Adam explained to his brothers, father and Hopsing of how he came across the little girl.

"What are you going to do with her now, son?" Ben asked.

"Well Pa, I thought tomorrow I would take her to town and buy her some cloths and then ask Roy Coffee to wire San Francisco to see if she has any relatives there."

"And if she doesn't son? Are you going to send her to the orphanage?" Ben asked.

"No Pa, I promised her I wouldn't."

"Well you certainly can't keep her, son, you aren't married. You don't know how to raise a child."

"Pa, she needs me. I can't just abandon her not when she is all alone."


	5. Early one Morning

It was hours before sunrise when little Samantha woke up alone and scared. She didn't like to be alone, she wanted to be with Adam. She crawled out of bed and tip toed to the door. She quietly walked into the next room and found Adam asleep on his bed. She walked over to him and called out to him softly.

"Adam. Please wake up I'm scared."

Adam mumbled and then woke up. "Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

"Well come here." Adam said lifting the covers for her to crawl into the bed. Adam placed her in the crook of his arm and let her head rest on his shoulders while one of her arms was draped across his chest. Adam reached with his other arm over to his night stand and turned on his mother's music box, hoping it would help her sleep.

The next morning Ben woke up, got dressed and went to make sure the boys had gotten up. As Ben checked he notice Joe and Hoss were already up, so he went to check on Samantha, but she wasn't in her room. Ben opened the door to Adam's room and saw the most precious sight. Adam asleep with little Samantha sound asleep in the crook of his arm, Ben thought to himself how right it seemed. He was wrong in telling Adam that he couldn't keep her and that he wouldn't know how to raise her. Adam was right when he said that she needed him but it just could be that Adam needed her more. Ben walked over to the bed and covered them up. Samantha woke up and Ben put a finger to his lips to tell her to be quiet. She reached her arms out to him and Ben couldn't resist he bent down and picked her up. He carried her out of the room and down stairs to where the boys were patiently waiting to have breakfast.

At seeing their Pa carrying down little Samantha, Joe and Hoss got be grins on their faces. "Good morning." they both said.

"Good morning." Samantha said. Ben sat Samantha down in Adam's usual seat.

"Well, Samantha, did you sleep well?" Joe asked.

"Yes sir."

"Samantha, dear, what is your last name?" Ben asked.

"Jones. What's yours?"

Ben gave a little laugh, "Its Cartwright, dear."

Just as Hopsing was setting the food on the table Adam was making his way down the steps in his usual black shirt and black jeans.

"Adam!" Samantha shouted as she ran towards him.

Adam bent down and picked her up, "Well good morning."

"Good Morning." She replied backed.

She gave him a hug, and he hugged her back.

"Mista Adam and little girl need to come eat." Hopsing called to them.

Adam sat down at the table with Samantha in his lap, which didn't go unnoticed by his family. As they ate breakfast, Little Joe and Hoss were filling Adam in on everything he had missed.

"That mare finally had its colt and if it ain't the dagburn cutest little critter you ever seen." Hoss said.

"Adam, a baby horse, can I see it?" Samantha asked with a mouth full of food.

"Of course you can, after we finish eating and I get you ready to go to town." He smiled at her.

"Town? Why are we going to town?"

"Well, we need to by you some dresses and play cloths. Besides you can't go around wearing my shirts all day."

"But I like your shirts, they smell like you." She said with a very serious face. Adam and his family gave a little giggle.

"I was thinking if you asked me real nicely, I might just buy you a doll or two." He said.

"A doll." Her face lite up, "A doll of my own, I've never had a doll."

"Well, sweetheart, we are just going to have to get you one." He said with a huge smile on his face.

"O, thank you, thank you, Adam." She hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.


	6. Happy Birthday

It had been a month since Adam had asked Sheriff Coffee to wire the San Francisco authorities, to see if Samantha had any relatives.

The date was November first, Samantha's fourth birthday, Hopsing was fixing a special birthday dinner and a birthday cake. After dinner and the cake, the whole family sat in the living room where one by one they all gave her their gifts. From Hopsing a beautiful China doll, from Ben a beautiful horse that looked just like Adam's, and from Little Joe and Hoss a saddle and a riding outfit. Now it was Adam's turn.

Adam walk over to the settee with a box in his hand, he picked Samantha up and sat her down on his lap.

Adam gave her the box and she opened it. Samantha pulled out some papers and then looked at Adam with a confused look on her face.

"Adam? What is it?"

"Samantha, they are adoption papers. I want to adopt you."

"You want to adopt me?" Samantha asked more in shock then a question.

"Yes sweetheart, if you'll have me."

"Yes!" she shouted as she turned around to hug him.

"I'd hoped you would have said yes." He whispered in her ear while tears rolled down his face.

Samantha pulled backed from her hug and looked Adam in the face. Adam could see the tear falling down her face.

"Does this mean I can call you daddy?"

"Yes sweetie." He said as he kissed her on the cheek. She hopped down off of Adam's lap and ran over to Hoss.

"And you Uncle Hoss."

"Yes lumpkin, you can call me Uncle Hoss." She hugged him and then went over to Joe.

"And you Uncle Little Joe." Joe laughed and hugged her.

"Yes, if I can call you Little Sam."

Samantha giggled and nodded her head yes.

Joe picked her up and handed her to Ben.

"Grandpa!" she shouted with joy.

"Yes grandpa." Ben laughed "And you little Sam, are my granddaughter."

Little Samantha gave a big yawn which was a sign to all that it was getting late.

Adam picked up his daughter and carried her to her bedroom. He got her ready for bed and tucked her in.

"Daddy?" she asked while he handed her favorite doll to her.

"Yes."

"Will you read me a story?"

"Of course I will." Adam sat on the bed and took her into his arms and told her the story of a knight in shining armor and the beautiful princess. Adam had finished his story and thought that she was asleep, until she spoke up.

"That's what you are daddy." She said looking up at him.

"I am what?"

"You are my knight in shining armor except you are my knight in black armor because you always wear black shirts. You saved me, Daddy, just like the knight that saved the princess."

Adam didn't know what to say, he was so touched by what she had said.

"Daddy?"

"Yes my little princess." He smiled and looked at her.

"I love you." She said as she hugged him.

Adam closed his eyes and choked back a sob.

"I love you too."


	7. Christmas Eve

It was Christmas Eve, the house was decorated and full of friends, the Cartwrights were throwing their annual Christmas party. All of their friends and closes neighbors were there. Everyone was in the Christmas spirit especially Adam this was the first Christmas with his daughter, all they needed was the official papers.

Like every year Ben read a story, Ben was in the middle of his story when the judge and sheriff Coffee came into the house. Everyone got quiet and stared at them. Ben got up out of his sit and made his way over to them. No one said a thing, Coffee handed Ben some papers. Ben read the first sentence out loud.

_"The territory of Nevada is proud to announce the official adoption of Samantha Jones to Adam Cartwright of the Ponderosa."_ Everyone gave a shout for joy; the whole town had been waiting for this.

Later that night as Adam was tucking in Samantha she asked him, "I am a Cartwright, right daddy?" "Yes, my little princess."

"And no one can take me away from you right?"

"Right, I'm not going to let anyone take you away from me." He said then gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"Daddy?" Samantha asked as Adam started to cover her up.

"Yes, my little princess."

"Daddy, can I sleep with you tonight? Please." She said giving him the puppy dog face.

"Can you sleep with me? Hummm…" Adam asked then started to tickle her.

Samantha giggled and Adam laughed, they stopped when they heard the door open, Joe was standing just inside the room.

"You know older brother some of us are trying to sleep." Joe laughed as he walked over to the bed. "But I can't refuse a good tickle fight." Adam and Joe looked at each other; Samantha knew that look they were going to gang up on her. Samantha crawled out of the bed and ran from them while laughing. Joe and Adam laughed as they chased after her. Samantha fled down stairs, to her grandfather who was reading a book by the fire.

"Grandpa, grandpa save me!" she yelled as she crawled up in his lap.

"Save you? From whom?" he asked.

"From daddy and Uncle Little Joe." Adam and Joe had appeared at the bottom of the stairs with big grins on their faces.

Adam and Joe sat down on the settee and gave a laugh, the tickle fight was over. Ben gave a laugh, "Well you three I think it's time we all go to bed." He said standing up with Samantha in his arms.

"I think you're right, Pa." Adam said as he stood up and took Samantha out of his arms. Samantha laid her head against Adam shoulder and gave a yawn. As Adam made his way upstairs a very sleepy Samantha asked, "Can I sleep with you?"

"Of course you can my little princess." With that they went to bed for Christmas morning was only a few hours away. And this was going to be a very special Christmas for the Cartwright family.


	8. Scarlet Fever pt1

It was the spring, the first spring that Adam and his daughter would get to spend together. What a pair the two of them made, it was only right that the two of them belonged together. Adam's life became more full and happier, than he could ever remember. Little Samantha's life was full of what she always wanted a daddy, She and her daddy were always doing something together. She also had two wonderful Uncles and a grandpa who loved and spoiled her very much.

It was a beautiful spring day, Adam, his brothers and his father were working while Samantha stayed at the house with Hopsing. The Cartwrights had a long hard day on the ranch and ready to get home to Samantha, Adam most of all was ready to get back home. He missed his daughter very much. The Cartwrights rode up to the house expecting to see Samantha out in the yard ready to greet them, but she wasn't there. The house was too quiet.

Adam dismounted his horse, "Something is wrong, I can feel it." Adam ran into the house, "Samantha!" He searched all over the house but no one was there.

Adam ran back to his father and brothers and told them that no one was in the house. Just then Hopsing rode up in the buckboard, followed by the doctor in his wagon. Doc Martin got out of his wagon and took little sleeping Samantha in his arms and made his way toward the house.

"Samantha!" yelled Adam as he ran over the doctor.

"No Adam, don't come any closer."

Adam stopped a few feet away, "What? Why? She's my daughter, what's wrong with her?" The doctor gave him a sympathetic look and then turned to Ben.

"Ben, has Adam ever had Scarlet Fever?"

"Scarlet Fever!" Adam exclaimed.

"No, Doc, only Joe, Hoss, and myself have had it, Adam was away at college, when we had it."

"Adam, I'm sorry but you can't see her, also I can't let you stay in the house either."

The doctor, Hopsing, and Hoss went into the house to get Samantha settled in her bed. Adam in a sprint took off for the house, "Samantha!" He cried over and over again, as he ran for the door. But Adam got stopped by his father and his brother.

"Samantha!" Adam cried as tears ran down his face, his already shaking knees buckled beneath him as he fell into hysterical sobs wishing for nothing more than to hold his sweet little girl. His father and brother kneeling close to his side tried to comfort him.

Back inside the house, everyone was trying to make little Samantha comfortable.

"Daddy!" she cried over and over again. All she wanted was her daddy there to hold her and make her better, but the doctor wouldn't let him see her. Her room, the house, her sheets, cloth , and anything else that might have come in contact with Samantha had to be clean and washed.

"Daddy!" She cried until she was going hoarse. At hearing her cries it broke her uncle's heart. It was wrong to keep Samantha and Adam apart but it was for his own good. Hopsing, Hoss, and the Doctor finally got Samantha settled down and resting. The child was running a high fever and time would only tell what would happen next.

Back outside Ben and Little Joe helped Adam bed down the horses and fix him up a bed in the bunkhouse, with the ranch hands out moving the cattle to the north pasture, it made the bunk house the perfect place for Adam to stay. But for Adam staying in the bunk house was hell, all he wanted to do was hold his little girl and tell her everything was going to be alright. All throughout Adam's life he had always been the strong, silent, calm one but now Adam let his walls fall and for the first time in his life he felt helpless and scared.


	9. Scarlet Fever pt2

**Adam's POV**

Hell. That what it was. Hell. My sweet little girl is sick and I can't even see or hold her. How do they know that I'm not already infected? I spend all of my free time with Samantha. I should be the one sick, not her. This waiting its hell, I've always been good at waiting, but not now this is eating me alive. They don't understand, how do they expect me to just sit around a wait?

"O Samantha!" I cried. Tears rolled down my face, not that I could stop them. This bed I was sitting felt like a rock but I don't care the only thing I care about is my daughter.

"Adam!" it was Little Joe, he was outside.

"Adam, there you are." Joe said as he joined me inside the bunk house.

"Where else would I be Joe. Since no one will let me be with Samantha." There the tears go again. Joe didn't say a thing he just grabbed my hand and drug me out the door into the yard in front of the house.

"Alright Hoss." Joe yelled toward the house.

"Joe what are you doing?" I asked.

"Adam stop asking questions and just look up at Samantha's window." I did what Joe said and looked up at my daughter's window. There was Hoss standing in the window hold Samantha in his arms. I could tell she wasn't feeling good. She was wearing one of my black shirts and in one of her arms was the doll I bought her on our first trip to town together. With her free arm she reached out toward the window, I reached my arm out toward her; I knew that she and I wanted the same thing, each other. Hoss left the window. I just kept staring at the window.

Later that night while I was in the bunkhouse the Doc Martin came to speak to me.

"Adam, do you know how she could have been exposed to it?" he asked me. I shook my head no.

"Adam, has anyone in the house had a sore throat that she could have drunk after?" That's when it hit me, I was the one that caused her to be sick.

"It was me." I whispered. "I had a sore throat earlier this week, but I didn't think anything of it I thought it was just from the air being so dry and all the dust in the air. I took her riding the other day and she took a drink out of my canteen. O God, it's my entire fault. She didn't tell me that she had a sore throat. O God!" I broke down, my little girl was sick and it was my fault. I didn't hear the doctor leave not that I cared the only think I cared about was that my little girl was sick and it was my entire fault.

How could I have been so stupid? What is wrong with me? I should have known better then to let her drink after me knowing my throat was sore. I was the worst Father in the world. I couldn't sleep or eat my family tried to force me, but I didn't care. My father gave me that speech of his the '_what good would you be doing to her if you make yourself sick.'_ I hate that speech.

Sometime before dawn my father and Doc Martin came into the bunk house. Pa sat down beside me.

"Adam, she's taken a turn for the worse."


	10. Scarlet Fever pt3

**Adam's POV**

"Adam, she's taken a turn for the worse."

At that moment, I didn't hesitate I took off toward the house; no one was going to stop me. My little girl was extremely sick and they were not going to keep me away from her anymore. I reached the top of the stairs but there stood Hoss and Little Joe blocking my way, my father and the doctor was behind me.

"Little Joe, Hoss get out of my way."

"Now dagburnit, Adam, you shouldn't be in here."

"Hoss, you have no right to tell me what I should be and what I shouldn't do. That's my little girl that's up there sick not yours or Joe's. I should be the one taking care of her. Please Hoss, Joe, please let me pass."

"Daddy!" we all heard Samantha cry. "Please." I begged Joe and Hoss. "Daddy!" She cried again. With that last cry they let me by and straight to Samantha's room I went.

Upon entering her room, I found my little girl lying on her bed crying and covered with a rash. Just by one look I could tell she wasn't feeling good. "Daddy." She cried again. I walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. Gently I brushed the hair out of her face she had a high fever, I took a wet cloth out of the bowl of water that was next to her bed and wiped her down.

"Daddy?" she asked as she opened her eyes.

"Yes, my princess, I'm here now." My poor baby girl, she was sick and it was my fault.

Hopsing came into the room, "Mista Adam shouldn't be in here, no matter now, Hopsing make cold bath to bring fever down." Hopsing left and I picked up Samantha. I carried her down stairs past my family and the doctor who didn't say a word to me. After putting her in the cold bath and bringing her temperature down I wrapped her in a nice soft towel. Taking her back into the living room I sat in my favorite chair and sang her to sleep. I could tell that she was feeling somewhat better.

"Adam, I am not happy that you went against my orders but you are her father, and I would have done the same thing. Just please tell me if you start feeling ill at all. I have told Hopsing all he needs to know about taking care of her. I have to go into town and check on some other patients; I'll be back tomorrow morning. Send someone if she gets worse. About noon try to get her to take some broth, not too much, don't force it." Ben walked the doctor out and Hoss and Joe gave a yawn.

"Hoss, Little Joe, why don't yall get some rest." I suggested and they took my advice. Hopsing came in with medicine for Samantha's rash after he helped me put it on her I sent him to bed as well. Pa came in a few minutes later and said that he was going to do the chores in the barn then go to bed afterwards. Finally it was Samantha and myself, and I am going to do all I can to make her better.

**Ben's POV**

I finished the chores in the barn then headed inside, to see how Samantha was. Upon entering the house I found Adam and Samantha asleep, in his favorite chair by the fire. It reminded me of the first time I had found them asleep together. I walked over, and felt my granddaughter's forehead her fever had broke. I thought Adam was crazy for disobeying the doctor but if it were me, I would have done the same thing. I hope my son knows how proud of him I am, Adam had always acted like a father to Samantha from the moment he met her but this, exposing himself to scarlet fever to take care of her, proved to me that he was always meant to be a father.

"Grandpa?" Samantha whispered pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Can I have some of that broth now?"

"Of course you can." I took her out of Adam's arms trying not to wake him but I was unsuccessful. "O Adam, I'm sorry she wanted some broth."

"It's okay, Pa. Why don't I get her some broth while you go take a nice relaxing bath?"

I laughed, "Son, are you trying to tell me I stink."

"No Pa, I just thought you might want a break and relax some."

I took my son advice and an hour later I came back into the living room and on the table in front of the fireplace was an empty bowl. On the settee however was the most precious sight a father could see, my son asleep on the settee with his daughter curled up on his chest asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake them, so instead I covered them up with a blanket. Then I made myself comfortable in my favorite chair. I did have a doubt that Samantha wasn't going to fully recover.


	11. Death

Sorry it has taken me so long to update but I wanted to make sure I get this chapter just right. Remember I don't own any of the Bonanza Characters.

**Adam's POV**

After that first night I spent with Samantha it seemed like she was getting better, but she had a relapse. The doctor had done all he can and he said the only thing we could do is make her comfortable. O my poor little girl, I wish I could make you all better.

I have to mourn the death of two mothers, Inger and Marie, and I have even mourn the loss of my own mother, Elizabeth, whom I never known. But to mourn the loss of a child, I just don't know if I could handle it.

Death is terrifying like the monsters in a child story a dark shadow in the night that hovers in the night waiting to take away those we care about. It's the source of all our fears whenever we don't feel safe, whenever we feel ill, or whenever we feel lost we feel like death is watching.

Sometimes we slip through his icy fingers, we fight him every step, but no matter how many times we escape we know he's always there. Isn't it amazing how fragile life is? How easy is it to die? A normal fall gone very wrong, a pleasant horse ride until the horse throws you, a day spent in town until someone robs you and beats you to death. A small cold becomes a virus or in my case a sore throat given to my daughter it becomes scarlet fever, when this happens we cannot help but wonder why.

Death is inevitable, can't be stopped, can't be predicted, can't be reversed, but can be fought, can be mourned and can be accepted.

It took two weeks but no matter how close Samantha got to death, he didn't take her. For that I am thankful for if I had lost her I just don't know what I would have done.

"_Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death."- Unknown _


	12. Town

_Hey readers I know it's been awhile, but between work, fixing up my house and being sick I haven't been able to write much. I hope yall like it and I'm sorry if I made some careless mistakes but writing while having the flu is not a good combination. By the way I will never get a flu shot again, and I don't own any Bonanza characters just my own. Till next time._

**In my story Adam is 30, Hoss is 24, and Little Joe is 18.**

Chapter 12

"Daddy get up!" Four year old Samantha yelled as she ran into her daddy's room. "Daddy get up!"

Adam didn't stir, he was awake, but he wasn't going to let his little princess know. "Daddy get up, you said we were going to town today." Still Adam didn't stir; he was waiting for the perfect time.

"Daddy?" Samantha called getting her face close to her daddy's face. Then all of a sudden, Adam gave a yell and grabbed hold of his daughter and started to tickle her.

The more Samantha screamed and laughed the more, Adam tickled her. "D-d-daddy!" she giggled. "S-s-stop!"

"Do you give up?" He asked her. She yelled a yes and the tickling stopped. Adam sat up on his bed and pulled Samantha onto his lap giving her a hug and a kiss in which she returned.

"How did my Princess sleep last night?" he asked her.

"Good. Daddy?"

"Yes my princess."

"Are we still going to town?"

"Yes Princess." Adam said while getting out of bed. "Now go to your room, wash your face, make sure your room is clean and your bed is made. I'll be there in a few minutes to help you get ready."

A few minutes later, after Adam had got dressed and ready, he found himself in the doorway of his daughter's room just watching her play with her dolls. Little Samantha was the apple of his eye; she wasn't like other children who would throw tantrums or cry when she didn't get her way. She always obeyed her father, uncles, grandfather and even Hopsing.

"Daddy?" Samantha called from her spot on the floor next to her doll house.

"Yes, Princess." Adam replied coming out of his thoughts.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He said picking her up and hugging her to his body.

"I love you the more." Returning his hug.

"But I love you the most. Now my little Samantha it's time for you to get ready if we are ever going to get to town."

A few minutes later they were on their way down stairs, and as soon as Little Sam saw her grandpa she ran over to him. She gave him a good morning and a I love you before making her rounds to her two favorite uncles. She finally made her way to her seat next to her father. After saying grace the family began eating their meal.

"O boys, I forgot to mention an old friend of mine from Boston will be arriving in town today, he, his son and two daughters. So Little Joe, I'll be bunking with you, James can have my room. His son Matthew can have the down stairs guestroom and his daughters Mary and Emily can share the upstairs guest room. So Adam, I need you and Samantha to take the buckboard and I'll take the carriage, we will pick them up while we are in town." Everyone went on eating until Little Joe broke the silence.

"Hey Pa, just how old are these daughters of his?" with a sly giggle.

"Little Joe, is girls all you think about?" Hoss asked.

"No older brother that's not all I think about, besides I'm just curious." He giggled again.

"Well to answer your question little Joe, Matthew and Mary are twins they are 18, and Emily is 24. Now we must be getting ready to leave, I know Samantha is eager to go."

It was only a matter of time till Ben, Adam and Little Sam was on their way to town. Samantha was so excited that she could hardly stay in her seat. Time and time again Adam had to remind the four year old to stay in her seat. Half way to Virginia City, Little Samantha started asking her daddy questions.

"Daddy, what are we going to do in town while we wait for the stage to arrive?" She asked while snuggling up to her daddy's side.

"Well I thought we would buy you some more cloths, maybe pick out some new books I could read to you, and maybe if you ask me nicely we will get some candy."

"Daddy," she said with a yawn, "can we get Uncle Hoss some candy too?"

"Sure we can sweetheart." Adam replied as he wrapped an arm around his daughter and pulled her closer to him. It wasn't long until Little Samantha was sound asleep, it was moments like this that Adam cherished the most.

A few hours later, the stage had arrived.

"O James, its good to see you again after all this time." The older man had stepped out of the stage and up to his friend Ben.

"Ben, old friend its good to see you again, may I introduce my children Matthew and Mary." The twins stepped out of the stage and greeted their father's friend.

"Its nice to meet you both, this is my oldest son, Adam and his daughter Samantha." Adam and Samantha gave a welcome.

The last to exit the stage was a young lady in a simple plain dress, her hair was long, dark brown and her eyes were green. James spoke up, "O and this is my ward, Emily."


	13. The Ride Home

Chapter 13

The last to exit the stage was a young lady in a simple plain dress, her hair was long, dark brown and her eyes were green. James spoke up, "O and this is my ward, Emily."

Emily walked up to Ben and in soft yet confident voice said, "Mr. Cartwright it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is mine. May I introduce my granddaughter Samantha and my oldest son, Adam."

Adam stepped forward and greeted the young lady with his most charming smile.

After all the welcomes Ben lead his friend over to the carriage, where the twins had already climbed in the back seat taking up as much room as possible and James Smith took a seat up front then looked backed at Emily, "Emily," he said to her in an almost stern voice, "stay and load the luggage in the other wagon there is no room for you to ride back with us."

Ben and Adam just stared for James and his two twins purposely took up the extra room. Ben and Adam knew that there was plenty of room for her; they both gave her an apologetic look. Emily didn't say a thing she started to load the luggage in the wagon. Adam looked at his father with a questionable look; his father just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. Ben climbed up in the wagon and proceeded home.

Adam picked up Samantha and she immediately put her head on his shoulder, "Are you getting tired?"

She shook her head no, but he could tell that she was. Adam made his way over to the buckboard, "Miss Emily, I'll finish loading the luggage. I'm sure you are tired from your trip."

"Well yes I am a bit tired, Mr. Cartwright."

"Miss Emily, please just call me Adam." He said.

"Alright then Adam it is and you can just call me Emily. May I take her, so that you can finish loading up the luggage?" Adam handed Samantha to Emily and it was only a matter of time they were on their way to the Ponderosa. They had just gotten out of town when a very sleepy Samantha spoke up, "Daddy, I don't like that man."

"Mr. Smith?" he questioned her.

"Yes." She replied.

"I don't like him either." Emily said just above a whisper. That whisper didn't go undetected by Adam. He had heard her comment but decided it was best not to say anything right now.

By the time that they were half way to the house Samantha had fallen asleep in Emily's arms, "Samantha trust you." Adam said to Emily. "She doesn't trust people right away but it seems that she trust you like she did me when I first found her."

"When you found her? I thought Samantha was your biological daughter."

Adam stopped the buckboard and look directly at Emily, "No she is my adopted daughter, I've never been married. Last October, I found her in the woods. She was traveling with her aunt and uncle, they were her only family. They were shot and killed by some robbers, Samantha luckily got away. So I took her home with me and had the sheriff to found out if she had any family, she didn't. So I adopted her, I love her with all my heart and more. But since the day I found her it took her a while to trust strangers there are only a hand full of people in town that she trust and is comfortable around. That's why it surprises me that she seems to trust you right away normally she doesn't let just anyone hold her."

The rest of the trip to the Ponderosa was fairly quiet. They had arrived at the Ponderosa a little later then they should have because one of the horses had slipped a shoe. Little Joe and Hoss came out of the house and began unloading the luggage. Emily still hold little sleeping Samantha climbed down from the wagon.

Adam approached her, "Little Joe already took Mary's luggage up so, if you wouldn't mind carrying Samantha, I'll take some of your luggage upstairs and show you your room."

"No, Adam, I don't mind." She said and then followed him into the house.

Up in her and Mary's room, Adam set down her luggage and then took Samantha from her, "Samantha's room is next door and my room is across the hall from hers. Let me know if you need anything."

Once Adam left, Mary shut the door, "You were late, and I needed my luggage an hour ago. How am I supposed to freshen up if I don't have my things."

Mary's voice was raised, and Adam could hear everything that was said.

"I'm sorry, Mary." Emily apologized, "One of the horses slipped a shoe, so we had to go slower."

"Well Emily, all I have to say is that you are nothing just like mother of yours was. And if you think I am going to share a room with you then you thought wrong." Mary picked up Emily's bags and then threw them into the hallway; she then proceeded to push Emily out of the room. "Go sleep in the barn for all I care." Mary slammed the door in Emily's face.

A moment later Adam was in the hallway next to her and immediately picked up Emily's bags. Adam didn't say anything about what had just happened.

"You can have my room, I'll sleep in Samantha's room with her."


End file.
